I’ve noticed a theme with my clients this month that is extremely reflected in my personal experience of life these days: we are OVER it. Not only have we reached the generally challenging month of February, with fairly miserable weather that seems to go on forever, but we have nearly reached a year of adjusting to the new normal that is anything but normal. We are over it. (I am OVER IT.)
I could go on. And on and on. And while there is real validity to expressing the frustrations and feelings of hopelessness that can feel overwhelming, I think this space is for exploring what to do with it, how to live with it and begin to move forward. And so I somewhat begrudgingly acknowledge that I must do that right now. (For what it’s worth, I did allow myself a large chunk of time yesterday to simply lie on the couch and waste time because it was what I needed. And there is great value to allowing those moments; but then it is time to focus and move forward.) So here goes.
It is ok. We are ok. There is a lot that currently isn’t ok, but however each of us is dealing with our lives at the moment is ok. We are experiencing mass anxiety, tremendous grief, not only for loved ones who are sick and dying, but also for our lives, and extreme loneliness and isolation (and simultaneous person overwhelm if living with children or others). There is fear everywhere, softened with time, but still residing within us, over all of the unknown variables. I know that for me, the time that these anxieties arise is right before I fall asleep – ah the best time in the dark for fears to swirl! And it is ok.
What do we do with this? How do we manage? How can we move forward? Well for now, forward might not be an option. We hate feeling stuck but have few options to counteract the stagnance. Perhaps a reframe is in order: though we appear to be unmoving, perhaps during this time we are building up the possibilities for what lays ahead. Like a flower before it bursts through the soil or a caterpillar metamorphizing in its chrysalis, perhaps this time is paving the way for a burst of change that is right around the corner. Annoyingly optimistic though it may seem, I do genuinely believe that this period of time has been tremendous for many people’s internal growth. We are learning so much about ourselves, through grief, fear, anxiety, and even sheer boredom. So what will we do with this new self? Will we return to life as we knew it before, or have we uncovered ways that “normal” life actually didn’t fully reflect what we wanted?
This truly simplifies what is happening, for the sake of a blog post. I know that the feelings are sharper and deeper than I am expressing here. I know that not all have the privilege that I do to not have gotten sick, to have a solid partner to lean on, and have job security during this time. And so much more. I am grateful within my bubble of struggle. But it doesn’t stop the struggle. So perhaps it is time to shift our attention to what we DO have, to what we want, and to what we can plan on building towards looking forward.
And if that feels like too much for today, go lie on the couch and waste time. You can do this tomorrow.
